Mom's Story, and Happy Birthday!

She was only 35 years old when the world came crashing in on her. Seven months pregnant with her 6th child, and her husband is killed in a car crash. This one event is what has defined my mom's entire life, and the lives of all of us, her kids. To say she is a strong woman is an understatement. How many women could go on after such a tragedy? How many women would have turned to alcohol or drugs just to get through the day? But not mom, she was cut from a different cloth. She not only found a way to go on, she found a way to raise those kids, all alone, to be kind, thoughtful and caring people (no brag, just fact). I've always been especially impressed with the fact that she was able to raise two boys alone, and neither one of them were ever any trouble. They had every reason to be delinquents and to use the fact that they were fatherless to be druggies and slackers and to run wild. But mom made us all tow the line, even the boys, and that in itself is a testament to how she parented. Sometimes I think back to those early years, right after dad died. I remember now and then when one of dad's friends or brother or brother-in-law would stop in, I could see mom trying to not cry in front of us kids. She wanted to be strong for us. But as an adult, you realize how her heart was just broken. Not only did she grieve for the loss of the love of her life, but lived with the constant worry that maybe she couldn't do it alone, or God forbid should something happen to her. I remember shopping with her at Mesh's on Monmouth Street in Newport (with 6 kids in tow) and she ran into someone she knew. Of course, whenever she ran into friends or family, they always asked how she was getting along. I distinctly remember that shopping trip and hearing her tell the woman that her prayer now was that God would let her live long enough to raise these kids. Until I heard that, it never occurred to me that we could be orphaned, and it scared me to death. I was terrified when she just went down the road, a mile away, after dark and left me and my older sister to take care of the kids. If she were gone more than an hour or so, I was certain she was laying in a ditch; that she too was dying in a car crash. I'd so often call grandma's house just to ask grandma if mom had left yet because one of the little ones was fighting or something; all I really needed to know was that she really was still there and that she would be home eventually. She was still alive. That's how a nine-year-old thinks. That 35 year old woman turned 85 years old on May 9th. She's never remarried, never even dated. As adults, I'm sure all of us kids wish she had found someone else to share her life with. But looking back, if that had happened, who knows how it would have turned out? We may have had a horrible step dad, the boys may had turned into those delinquents after all. In the end, mom literally gave up her life for us. We all say we would do anything for our kids, we'd give our very lives for our kids. Well, mom really did. She may not have found another husband, but I truly think she followed Gods plan; she gave it all for her six kids. And those kids have always lived near her and have all married and have families of their own. She's been blessed with 16 grandkids (18 if you could my two stepchildren) and 6 great-grandkids (9 if you could my step-grandkids). These have been her blessings. I think God has blessed her abundantly for giving her life for her kids; she is surrounded by three generations of family who love her and owe their lives to her. Happy 85th Mom! You done good.